"This is the first story that I’ve written under the positive influence of love.
I wrote it for the girl who saved my life.
I even saved her life too - she was so emotional, but I always managed to make her feel safe.
Although we ended up on different paths, and I do not always agree with her decisions, I will always feel love towards her; without her I wouldn't still be alive.
Last year, I was in a very low place and I was set on taking my own life. I planned on recording my death and producing art from it. But, then she came into my life. And she was perfect to me; funny, beautiful... I loved talking with her every second of every day. She reminded me what it meant to feel, re-introducing me to emotion after years of acting cold.
For some time, I believed her to be the one. Maybe she was. But for six months I became all about her, and she really opened my mind to becoming selfless. I realised that there is more to life than just myself - that it feels good to make others feel happy. I live by that now.
I fell in love with her, and she fell in love with me. When she opened up to me, it made me feel so special and wanted. I have countless incredible memories with her and I remember essentially all of our conversations.
I couldn't walk down the street, listen to certain songs, go into certain shops, eat certain foods, play certain games or do anything without it reminding me of her if we did it together.
Most notably, I struggled to listen to my
Favourite mixtape - frank ocean's
'nostalgia, ultra', because I played it the first time I visited her on a train. I'm probably being silly, but heartbreak seems to affect me more than most.
We ended up breaking each others hearts.
I wrote this for her whilst she was at work because she was having a bad day and I wanted to make her happy by surprising her when her shift ended. It worked. She loved it so much she re-wrote it by hand in her diary. She brought this poetry and emotion out of me.
And she always will."
- m x
This was written for Savanna-Jade Lloyd.
Script, creative direction, sound, and mixing: Matthew W.F. Senior.
Narrated by: Peter-Dean Navarro and Matthew W.F. Senior.
Score: Robert Rich, Markus Reuter and Kyle Staff.
Publisher: NEK RECORDS + NOT ENOUGH KNIFE
(PDF Version Published by NEK PUBLISHINGS)